Understanding "Submission"

Happily married couples are committed to the goal of giving each other pleasure. Submission to me means "Live with your wives", the term translated "live" means "to dwell down with," being closely aligned, being completely at home with. The little word "with" calls for close companionship, deep-down togetherness. In every marriage, there needs to be verbal, emotional, social, intellectual, and spiritual togetherness. Happily married couples create a sense of safety that allows each person to feel comfortable expressing his/her feelings, problems, and dissatisfactions. Life is full of choices. In marriage, partners always work together to make decisions.

Submit is a verb. Submitting is a voluntary action. That means it is something we ourselves do. It’s not something we make someone else do. Just as we can’t force another person to love us, we can’t force someone to submit to us either. Of course we can make that person do what we want. But then that’s not true submission.

True submission is love and love produces best sexual relationship that any couples can experience.

Do (romantic) relationships between Deaf and hearing people work?

My answer would be yes. I am deaf and my wife is hearing. Like any relationship, communication is the key. The hardest part of our relationship is when we spend time with groups of friends who are all Deaf and my wife ends up feeling left out and isolated. I have come to terms how to handle this with grace and understanding. Over the years, I have learned more about people losing their hearing due to loud noises (i.e. music). There are many couples when one spouse is losing hearing have created a marriage problem. In couples where one party loses hearing after the bond is formed, their sexual relationship can be affected the most. In many cases, good relationships have not developed. While hearing loss hasn't caused the problem, it makes the problem more insoluble. Sex often depends upon the right time and the right atmosphere. A hearing impaired person often misses or cannot understand romantic cues. Each couple develops its own sense of mood, of energy and spontaneity. Some like each step in the process planned. Each bond has its own sense of timing, but in the person who is hearing impaired, the sense of timing is thrown off. Spontaneity gets lost. Something is wrong and each person feels to blame. Seldom do they discuss it. Communication BREAKS down. Communication is the key regardless if people are hearing or deaf or both.

I am hard of hearing, without my hearing-aids, I am totally deaf. AT night we make love and we use some light in order to communicate. Talk about what feels good, what feels right, what is enjoyable.

Multiple Sclerosis and sex......

Warning, Explicit....

I love sex. My wife loves sex as well. Sometimes disability can get in the way of sexual enjoyment. The best way to deal with those feelings is to talk as openly as possible about them. Our BRAINS are our BEST sexual organ. We started talking about more sensual and taking time to enjoy each feeling as it came. Knowing that stimulating our minds would make sex more fulfilling for us was no secret and we are more open to explore. We lay down together and letting our carnal emotions take over our bodies by putting our minds at ease by allowing us to lead each other into never ending ecstasy. Unspoken agreements invite hands wandering in an uncontrollable passion within sensual forces. With our complete love for each other, we release each other's from any inhibitions we may have sexually. In our erotic brain, wanting to manifest themselves into material reality that sensual scenes of we played over and over again are becoming reality. Sweet surrender. Appeasing each others' appetites & fantasies. When a couple makes love, they are entering into a state of oneness; it's a oneness described in Genesis, when a man shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Sex in marriage should always center around love. The gift of sharing your sexuality with each other is to bring oneness, joy, love, nurture, and fun to your relationship. It's important for each couple to negotiate how they are going to talk about their sexual relationship together. To talk honestly about our sexuality, sexual preferences, fears, feelings about our bodies, struggles, joys—this is intimacy, deep friendship with trust and faithfulness. The most important sexual organ is your brain. What's happening in your mind affects your responses physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Using your imagination and playing together are important for a healthy marriage and sexual relationship. If you're both having fun, neither of you feels degraded, there is no physical or psychological pain, you are growing in your oneness, and expressing your love for each other, then enjoy!

My wife and I are finding ways to be more sexual to over-come obstacles. Our minds are the BEST sexual organ and we are more wild than we ever before.

Now, our next project is getting a sound-proof bedroom. :)

Men and Multiple Sclerosis

Lower sex hormones, such as testosterone, is proabably partly responsible for lack of sex drive for men. According to studies I have been reading, the men's average blood testosterone level was on the low side of normal. Studies are showing that hormone that elevates physical energy and sex drive, as well as help men who has multiple sclerosis. Swimming will effectively increase opioid peptides (aka endorphins, a naturally occurring opiate that in conjunction with other neurotransmitters is responsible for exercise induced euphoria) which positively influence hormone production (i.e., increase testosterone and growth hormone). When the brain is stimulated, chemicals like endorphins are released into the blood stream which leads to better mood that leads to sexual release.

Therefore, for men, exercising creates flow of testosterone that will help increase sex drive. After getting sex drive through exercises, sex enhance mood to have sex, the more you have it, the more endorphins that are released. Endorphins are the brain's feel-good chemicals. Boy, do I missed those feelings.

Exercise is an important investment for me

Exercise helps with weight control, strengthens muscles, keeps bones strong, battles stress, enhances sleep and improve better moods.

I want to be careful because starting with a burst of enthusiasm to exercise and only to see that initial momentum evaporate within over time. When I start something new, I am filled with tremendous optimism and feeling ready. I have to remember that this surge of energy will inevitably end and I need to prepare for that moment.

So how do I stay motivated and stay on track with my goals?

I really believe that this all comes down to good planning, understanding realistic expectations, and a proper attitude. Part of staying motivated is being realistic about what I can achieve within the timeframe I have set up for myself.

I have Multiple Sclerosis and as I said earlier in my blog that I am going back to swimming. Swimming improves cardiovascular fitness. I am not sure if anyone knows that I have type 2 diabetes. Swimming is a great physical activity for people with diabetes. When swimming, muscle cells more efficiently absorb blood sugar which lowers blood sugar levels.

So another goal of mine is exercise regularly if I want to live longer because the glucose control benefits from exercise can last for hours and days. I have to keep swimming for the rest of my life in order to control my diabetes. Also, I want to lose about 20 to 25 lbs by getting to down the weight I was back in year 2000.

I have set up my swimming plan and diary. Now I am shopping for bathing suit and goggles. I have made an appointment to get ear plugs so I won't have wet ears after I swim since I wear hearing-aids.

Swimming is a healthy activity that can be continued for a lifetime. In the past, swimming have helped me develop my life skills such as sportsmanship, time-management, self-discipline, goal-setting, and an increased sense of self-worth. I want to get those back in my life. Oh yeah, BETTER SEX drive.

I have decided not to join the Masters Swim Team that is located at Ohio State University. My wife and I have decided to have a family package at the local YMCA here in Columbus. We can use any of the branches. For me, I will swim at the downtown YMCA before I go to work in the mornings. The family will use one of the two nearby branches. YMCA also have Masters Swimming and I can get the same benefits through them.

Sexual Dysfunction Prevalent in Multiple Sclerosis

"Until 10 or 20 years ago, sexual dysfunction in MS was swept under the carpet, much as cognitive symptoms were"

For couples of one spouse who have multiple sclerosis (MS), both physical symptoms and emotional repercussions can make a healthy sex life challenging. Majority of persons with MS describe some kind of sexual problem at some point in the course of their disease. I am one of them but I am learning and getting better results. I am one who learned to be flexible and be very creativite and imagination. Its kinda fun when it is very challenging. When there is a will, there is always a way.

Okay... here goes.......Spasticity during......

lovemaking is very irritating for someone who has Multiple Sclerosis (MS). Lovemaking and sexuality involves mutual affection, warmth, tenderness, physical touch between two people who are in love. For awhile, I have ignored this issue but lately, I have found ways to handle spasticity. My wife and I have arranged our positions to reduce the chances of me getting spasticity. This took me awhile to say it but I didn't say it directly. Rather, I say it that I perform better in another position when dealing with MS.

One of my best and sexiest part of my body is my mind because I am very creative and always finding ways to making love more fun. I just won't give up and keep trying. When there is a will, there is always a way. When my wife found my books, she was surprised to see the romance books I have and she asked, "Do you actually read romance books?". I said, "Well, let me put it this way, I love sex and I know women love sex and romance books will tell me what women really wants". She said, "No wonder you are so smooth."

Anyway, February is LOVE and I thought we dicuss LOVE as others bloggers with Multiple Sclerosis are discussing this month (see list of bloggers on right that I visit daily).

By the way, I am home from work and not feeling well. So I am resting and probably work alittle at home. Good thing I can do some of my job at home.

Have a wonderful day everyone.

Hot Topic: Frank and Direct Talk about Sex (Please don't read if you want to read this).

Sex, who don't like sex?

Often "normal able" people assume that no one could ever desire disabled sexually, or that they could ever have satisfying sex lives. Many of us can and do. I love sex and I am happily sexually. My wife is my lover and best friend. We both are open minded sexually and have alot in common. When a couple makes love, they are entering into a state of oneness; it's a oneness described in Genesis, when a man shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Sex in marriage should always center around love. Whether simply for enjoyment or for purposes of procreation, love must be the central point of contact for the two. The gift of sharing your sexuality with each other is to bring oneness, joy, love, nurture, and fun to your relationship. It's important for each couple to negotiate how they are going to talk about their sexual relationship together. To talk honestly about our sexuality, sexual preferences, fears, feelings about our bodies, struggles, joys—this is intimacy, deep friendship with trust and faithfulness. The most important sexual organ is your brain. Using your imagination and playing together are important for a healthy marriage and sexual relationship. If you're both having fun, neither of you feels degraded, there is no physical or psychological pain, you are growing in your oneness, and expressing your love for each other, then enjoy! Whatever you do to enhance your sexual enjoyment, be sure it draws you more deeply into passionate oneness with your mate. We are simply following our desires and passions sexually. We both are open to explore everything sexually and many considered to be kinky. We can enjoy being "nice" for most of time while being nasty in the bedroom. We want to have a normal marriage and sex is just our "sanctuary of love" that we can enjoy explore, have fun and have some great orgasms. We focus on "making love" by bonding, and deepening our emotional connection. We share our fantasies and enact those fantasy roles together. Sexual fantasies play an important role in the happiness of each married couples' sexual lives. Discussing sexual fantasies does lend itself to excitement. Sharing fantasies can be liberating because sharing fantasies can increase trust and intimacy in most married couples. Fantasies are extremely personal and there are risks involved in disclosing them, especially to someone you care for. I have learned that lack of communication sexually is often the primary cause of unhappiness within the marriage. Often when one spouse doesn’t know how the other really feels because there has been no direct discussion of sex. When discussing sex, be open and let your mate know that you’re talking about something very important to you. You never know what your spouse likes unless you talk. Most of my fantasies are very compatible with my wife's fantasies which I am surprised and very happy. In order to have a warm, joyful, fulfilling relationship in which shared experiences encourage mutual growth and happiness is being open-minded with loving care heart. Confide all of who you really are. No masks. Share everything, including your wildest fantasies. I know that is very bold and very risky. Fantasies aren’t good or bad and there should be no judgment involved. Having a wild fantasy doesn’t mean it has to be expressed in reality. In order to have a wonderful exclusive and monogamy sexual relationship, we are to feel free sexually and feel sexual without restrictions.

There are specific issues and problems related to sex that we face as disabled people. There are also unique and wonderful experiences we get to have because of the disability. We do sex differently because of our disabilities. Mainstream society, in my experience, tends to portray disabled people as not really having sexualities, or to assume that sex, even if we wanted it, isn't something that we're capable of. Boy, I believe disabled people are more creative sexually than able people. We have the ability to explore sex creattively.

I have found blogs written by disable people talking about sex like this one who wrote an interesting poem called: Disabled Lovers, Two wheelchairs as one. There this women discussing about sex in her life in her blog called Disability and sex that she had to learn that disabled people had sex lives and that she could have one, too.

By the way, my wife and I have toys that enhances our sexual relationship. We have learned to be more open minded. :)

There is are books out there similar to this book for couples: Enabling Romance: A Guide to Love, Sex, and Relationships for the Disabled (and the People Who Care About Them) (And the People Who Care About Them)