Lately, I have been walking instead of swimming

Due to schedule and lack of $$$, I had to give up swimming. In the past few weeks, I have been walking at least 3 to 4 times a day @ work and @ home.

At work, I have been walking during my 2 15 min breaks and 30 min lunch hour.

Don't forget, I do walk at bus stops at home and downtown Columbus in the mornings and evenings.

During the weekend and sometime during the week, I walk 1 to 3 1/2 miles in my neighborhood.

I have to tell you, finances have been tough for me since my work had a furlough which caused my pay to be reduced about $ 240 a month. My wife didn't get paid during the summer which compounded the problem.

We are cutting back our cable, grocery and others. So far, we are getting there. Even though I am an accountant, my wife and I are seeing a credit counselor so we can get a neutral and balanced objectives while working out the details.

I am losing weight (I can tell). My stomach is getting smaller and I am getting to have more energy. I will have a blood drawn this friday which will tell me the status of my diabetes and other minor health issues.

Will keep you posted.

Motivate myself to start exercising... I joined a health club today

From the day I was diagnosed with MS, I weigh about 180 or less. Today, I weigh about 230. Yeah, I know... that's too much. That's what my doctors said. Time for me to get back to physical fitness. I know I can't "cycle" anymore as I used to for good workout. I can "swim" and I finally join a health club today. This is a Y located downtown near my work. I am planning to swim there whenever I can, early in the morning, lunch hour or after work. I am looking forward to swim again. I already set up my swim workout plan but I won't be using it after a week or two of easy workouts since I am way out of shape. Who knows, I might rejoin Masters Swim Team again. :)

If I do not find time for exercise will have to find time for illness. My willpower is the art of replacing bad habits for good habits. I am a product of the choices I make, not the circumstances that I face but rather how I decide based on those circumstances in my life. Circumstances have taught me that the greatest good of personal life is not absence of pain, but Christ-likeness. One side of the circumstances is to bring out the BEST in me and the other side is to bring out the WORST in me. At times, I was too blind to see my own dark characters. If those who saw my mistakes and ignore their own mistakes are those who only care about themselves.

The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in my own determination. No one can defeat me unless I first defeat myself. Once I defeat myself, then others will defeat me. My success happens when both my heart and mind share the same perspective. Desire is the key to my motivation, but it is my determination and commitment that leads to my failure or success. It's up to me to get hold of my mind and control it while God does the rest for me. My will is one of many characters in action and its up to me act on my will. In order to make goals come into reality, this requires my determination, my dedication, my self-discipline, and my own efforts.

It is wise for me to learn from the mistakes of others because I can't live long enough to make them all by myself. If I have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always more chances for me. True failure is not the falling down, but rather "staying down" and not doing anything about it. If I focus on results, I will never change. If I focus on change, I will get great results. Understand that their are no failures but rather temporary setbacks to overcome.

"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try." -Beverly Sills

"Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going." ~ Jim Ryun

My personal mission statement regarding my health

Attitude towards life is important. Therefore, attitude about my own life is very important.

Recently, my doctors said that I need to set a healthy priority in my life. I am happily married and my wife is the most wonderful woman who is very concerned about my health. She said she will kill me if I die before she does.

Before being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, I was very athletic, swam for 30 plus years and road cycling 25 to 100 miles every weekend. I played golf every week. When I was healthy physically, I have learned nothing about real life until my doctor told me that I need to be active again. I will be turning 50 on December 11th. I have type 2 diabetes, Multiple Sclerosis, high blood pressure and about 30 lbs over-weight. Lifestyle modification, including a combination of weight loss and exercise, is important. Exercise helps to control weight, reduce stress, and keep blood glucose in check. If I want to live almost 100 years like my grandmother did, I need to value my health as one of the highest priorities.

Living with multiple sclerosis often put me on a roller coaster of emotions and I am learning to cope with my depressions. MS disease has an on-again, off-again pattern called relapsing-remitting MS, in which symptoms flare up and then disappear. Swimming is often recommended for people with MS because it provides a way for a patient to get exercise without becoming overheated. I have been swimming in the water since I was very young and been on many swim teams over the years all the way up to my 40's until MS hit me.

There are millions of excuses not to exercise. Too busy, too tired, too bored. None of them are valid reasons.

I am not as self-disciplined as I used to be when I was younger and athletic. I have some habits to overcome which have caused me to procrastinate and lack of assertiveness. Throughout my life, consciously or not, I will have to constantly formulating, revising, and (at least to some degree) following my personal priorities. The simplest are the day-to-day lists that basically consist of chores, errands, and plans for the very short term. Priorities, the things in my life that I think are important, can change over time, especially when I face a serious illness such as multiple sclerosis. I have to recognize that my priority list may change over time.

This morning, I checked out downtown YMCA's swimming pool and it looks good. I will be making an appointment sometime this week (hopefully today) with a membership staff and join.

Attitude and Health

Regardless whether I am deaf or have Multiple Sclerosis or whatever else is affecting me, I should look on the positive side of my life. Attitude is important. Attitude towards cultures is important. Attitude towards life is important. Therefore, attitude about my own life is very very important.

Professionals say that personality traits that can help us live longer as well as that having a pet can add years to your life, as well. To many people, quality of life is equally as important as life span that we can improve our longevity by improving our quality of life. If we really want to live longer, then we can start with our attitude. Our way of thinking can not only impact the quality of our life, but also how long we can actually live. From what I was reading from various sources that optimistic people actually decreased their risk of early death compared with those who leaned more towards pessimism. Pessimism are those who have negative attitude which makes them weaker. Many medical experts says that our beliefs actually alter our body's chemical balance which impacts our ability to enjoy life.

I believe this is also biblically sound, there is a connection between mind and body - and that our thoughts, attitudes and emotions affect our own physical functioning and our over all health regardless if we have any form of disabilities such as Multiple Sclerosis. Everyone have their own definition of happiness. There are people who are not happy simply because they are not happy for whatever reasons they may be. Learning from trials, anybody who tries to create a fantasy world where everything is perfect is only setting themselves up for even a more profound sadness, frustrations and sorrow. Trials (of all kinds) are often a two-sided coin. One side trials may be viewed as coming from God to bring out the BEST in us (See: Gen. 22:1-2, 15-18; Hebrews 11:17). On the other side of the coin, Satan attempts to tempt us and trials to bring out the WORST in us (see: James 1:13-14).

As you can see from my pevious paragraph, God's divine intervention (i.e. trials) goes both ways. All circumstances can turn people to God. Scriptures reveals that no trial, no disease or illness, no accident or injury reaches us apart from God's permission. We can answer like Joseph to his brothers who sold him into slavery, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good.” There are some who seem to look on the gloomy side and never able to do respond in faith to life's problems, instead, they grumble about the trials that they forget God's powerful grace. Our faith is not optimism because it breeds false hope however I believe we should not be either pessimistic or optimistic from human point of view. As a human being, I am very opotimistic person however, as a believer, I have strong faith in God. It is a life of faith, not of intellect and reason, but a life of knowing Who makes us "go" in this life whether we respond to His plan or not. Trials are intended to train us out of our worldly security and awaken us to the fact that we are to trust God during their trials or fall but at the same time, don't trust ourselves and take action of our lives by "living" what we ought to be living.

This is one of the many reasons why I am going back to swimming and may be going back to college this fall. Also, I am going to join one local professional accountant organization to be part of the accounting community. There is so many things I can do to make my body feel alive.

Now, my next project to feel "alive" is to feel more sexual which will be a challenge. Going on 50 and I am not ready to let go of sex. (smile).

A.W. Tozer's quote:

Materialism, pessimism, cynicism and skepticism were the four horsemen of those gloomy decades and they rode forth conquering and to conquer.

Bipolar Disorder

I don't have bipolar disorder however, my ex-wife has it but never got treated for it and refused to get treated. My own daughter also have bipolar disorder and she got treated and doing great. I am learning that bipolar disorder is like multiple sclerosis, the victims are females more than males.

My current wife also have bipolar disorder and she is getting treated as well as getting therapy. Now that all of her 3 girls also have bipolar disorder and they all are getting treated.

I have learned that Bipolar disorder is not a single disorder because they have different levels of disorder. I don't know my ex-wife's level so I would not know. My current wife and her two of three girls have mild disorder which means they are able to cope their every mood swing without hospitalization. While my own daughter as well as one of my wife's daughters have more depressive disorder which can lead them to hospitalization. In fact, my own daughter was hospitalized about 4 times.

I get depression which is similar to bipolar disorder which characterized by a pervasive low mood, loss of interest in usual activities and diminished ability to experience pleasure. Mine is related to Multiple Sclerosis and my medications.

Bipolar disorder and depression are the most common causes for lack of self-discipline, lack of assertiveness, lack of ambition and procrastination.

We all as a family need to have a family committment of doing what is right for us and for our bodies. Joining YMCA is our first "action" to get our butts moving.

Re-educating old man to go back to self-discipline

I do have self-discipline but I am not self-disciplined as I used to be when I was younger and athelitic. I have the will power but not the discipline to follow-through. I have some habits to overcome that caused me to procrastinate and more so than often which lead me to have lack of assertiveness. My life is full of trials and my lack of assertiveness have created more problems for me. Prosrastination is my biggest enemy. I know the key to self-discipline for me is ambition which means a motivation to improve my situation. I have to do this. I want my ambition to have enthusiasm with a purpose in my life. Like Bill Bradley said once, "Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in.”

I have to remember the reality is that everyone dies as explained in Ecclesiastes 3:19-20. I do NOT want to waste my life and die without understanding life’s purpose. No matter what kinds of dreamss and desires I have, I have to remember that my accomplishments to get what I want will only give me momentary thrills and temporary satisfaction that will never last (Isaiah 55:1-3, John 6:35).

One of my favorite Christian theologian, A. W. Tozer said "The man who comes to a right belief about God is relieved of 10,000 temporal problems, for he sees at once that these have to do with matters which, at the most, cannot concern him for very long." I understood this quote by Dietrich Bonhoeffer "In view of our supreme purpose, the present difficulties and disappointments seem trivial".

I have this book called "The Purpose-Driven Life", while I love the concept of the book however doctrinally, I was having trouble with the author's concept. As I read the book, I was getting more unconfortable what the author was saying because it does not sound right biblically. The book itself is not heretical in content however, how it was written bothers me because of poor theology stemming from an inadequate bibliology. The book was written as they were new ideas. The Bible has always been the same and the ideas always have been the same. We are to look for the objective truth of Scripture and to apply that to the situation we are placed in.

I have learned to be careful how I select my daily devotional books and need to look from doctrinal perspective rather than my own satisfaction. I do not want to read watered down gospel because it is false gospel and doctrinally wrong. If I read books like A.W. Tozer, I won't see authors like Tozer water down biblical doctrines to make me spiritually easy and pleased. I want to be challenged doctrinally so my life can be more fulfilled. The idea is that the purposes are God's purposes, not mine. In 1 Timothy 4 explains that Christians must choose their priorities carefully like an athlete as to have disciplined lives forgo some desires that may hinder doing God's will and please God as you are after God's own heart.

It is my responsibility as a Christian to discern and I don't want to be gullible. I can either be gullible or discerner. I choose to be a discerner. Paul said, "But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection ..." (1Corinthians 9:27). Solomon wrote in Proverbs 12:1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid. What should motivate me like an athlete who trains for the Olympics to win a gold medal such self-discipline and willing to face the endurance of my life.

Before I start swimming again in two weeks, I need to exercise my mind and get motivated. Stop prosrastinating and focus on ambition to do what is right for my body, my life and my real purpose.

Increase libido for me?

Well... my sex drive is still low. I am glad that I am going back to swimming. They say that swimming is the best exercise for better health and better sex.

Almost all MS patients can't handle heat-whether generated by temperatures outside the body or by exercise-may cause temporary worsening of many MS symptoms. In these cases, eradicating the heat eliminates the problem. Some temperature-sensitive patients find that a cold bath may temporarily relieve their symptoms. For the same reason, swimming is often a good exercise choice for people with MS. Exercise is an important part of maintaining function for the person with MS, therefore, swimming is often recommended because it allows strenuous activity without overheating.

Swimming is the best exercise without adding stress to knees, ankles, legs and the back. A major benefit of swimming is the near weightlessness, which can help swimmers strengthen their shoulders and abdominal muscles. The exercise also strengthens the heart and helps decrease problems associated with diabetes, asthma, high blood pressure and allergies. Better sex is another benefit from swimming (or Aerobic exercise). Those who swim (Aerobic exercise) regularly tend to have higher levels of desire, greater sex confidence and frequency, and an enhanced ability to better arousal.

Why is swimming (or any form of aerobic exercise) is real libido booster?

Many experts says that aerobic exercise triggers the release of endorphins, opiate-like chemicals produced in the brain that create a sense of well-being, which makes you more receptive to sex which also boost your self-esteem, confidence and body image, all of which are important factors to maintain a positive attitude.

Anyway, I am going to swim about 1 mile each time I swim. Lap Swimming in a 25 tyard pool is 2 lengths, from the starting point to the other end and back again. 72 laps makes 1 mile (144 lengths). When I was swimming a few years back, I used to do a mile within 40 minutes. Not sure about now so I will find out when I start.