I have been quiet and away

There was alot happening my life in the past few weeks and I have been too busy to get online long enough to post a blog. There were economic issues as well as other issues that impacted my life.

One of the areas that I was busy is trying to find a local church for BOTH my wife (who is catholic) and I (Reformed). For 5 years, my wife and I have been visiting many churches around the area. There were some that had potential but didn't work out. My wife and I think we found a home church that we BOTH can enjoy together. We have tried many different denominations and churches. We think we found one that we BOTH can enjoy worshiping together every Sunday.

Most Christian denominations and movements share common beliefs in the major aspects of the Christian faith, while differing in many secondary doctrines. We are attending the Lutheran Church–Missouri Synod (LCMS) local church. Lutherans are a sometimes neglected group of evangelicals, since they lie somewhere in between Arminianism and Calvinism in their view of divine sovereignty, and embrace neither dispensationalism nor covenant theology in their understanding how the Old and New Testaments relate to one another. Their liturgical worship and their understanding of baptism and the Lord’s Supper bear some resemblance to Catholic practice, but their doctrine of salvation is emphatically Protestant. Ultimately, Lutheranism is best understood on its own terms rather than by comparison to other systems.

Lutheran seems almost unknown in American Christianity. Catholics, Episcopalians, Baptists, Charismatics, and Calvinists are well-represented. Within Protestantism, Calvinists attack Lutherans for “not going far enough in the Reformation,” for keeping papistical practices and idolatrous worship. Arminians attack Lutherans for not believing in the freedom of the will and for leaving the door open to anti-nominianism. Charismatics think Lutherans are “cold.” Fundamentalists say Lutherans are strong on doctrine but weak on morals. Lutherans condemn Arminians for not believing in predestination and Calvinists for believing in double predestination. Catholics and Charismatics are considered alike in believing that the Holy Spirit reveals Himself in human beings, apart from the Word. Fundamentalists are savaged for their legalism.

We are attending classes to learn more about Lutheran doctrines and the local church's beliefs.

I will keep you posted.

Jim

Deep thoughts, History and Lessons

Deep thoughts about my personal experience in positive choices that are right for me rather than living with a private struggle. I will be turning 50 on December 11th and I will be doing alot of soul searching.

I hate divorce and in my last marriage, I was married over 21 years to a woman who only cares about herself and what she wanted out of life. While I hate divorce, I am thankful and happy that I am divorced freed from such hardship and she was taking me for granted. In the last few years, I have struggled with my own issues that I have come to terms to accept them and move on. I regretted for not being their for my kids.

Today, I am happily married and my wife is the most wonderful woman. I can see why marriage is so good. It can be so good if only both spouses are not selfish and are willing to submit to one another with "love" unconditionally.

I always love "history". What is "true maturity" when we think of birthdays? Maturity means acting responsibly; it means learning from my mistakes and trying not to make the same ones over again. Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. I regret not being with the people I care about when they need me most.

The heart of the matter is this: LOVE and Respect even when things are not going right.

Understanding "Submission"

Happily married couples are committed to the goal of giving each other pleasure. Submission to me means "Live with your wives", the term translated "live" means "to dwell down with," being closely aligned, being completely at home with. The little word "with" calls for close companionship, deep-down togetherness. In every marriage, there needs to be verbal, emotional, social, intellectual, and spiritual togetherness. Happily married couples create a sense of safety that allows each person to feel comfortable expressing his/her feelings, problems, and dissatisfactions. Life is full of choices. In marriage, partners always work together to make decisions.

Submit is a verb. Submitting is a voluntary action. That means it is something we ourselves do. It’s not something we make someone else do. Just as we can’t force another person to love us, we can’t force someone to submit to us either. Of course we can make that person do what we want. But then that’s not true submission.

True submission is love and love produces best sexual relationship that any couples can experience.

Do (romantic) relationships between Deaf and hearing people work?

My answer would be yes. I am deaf and my wife is hearing. Like any relationship, communication is the key. The hardest part of our relationship is when we spend time with groups of friends who are all Deaf and my wife ends up feeling left out and isolated. I have come to terms how to handle this with grace and understanding. Over the years, I have learned more about people losing their hearing due to loud noises (i.e. music). There are many couples when one spouse is losing hearing have created a marriage problem. In couples where one party loses hearing after the bond is formed, their sexual relationship can be affected the most. In many cases, good relationships have not developed. While hearing loss hasn't caused the problem, it makes the problem more insoluble. Sex often depends upon the right time and the right atmosphere. A hearing impaired person often misses or cannot understand romantic cues. Each couple develops its own sense of mood, of energy and spontaneity. Some like each step in the process planned. Each bond has its own sense of timing, but in the person who is hearing impaired, the sense of timing is thrown off. Spontaneity gets lost. Something is wrong and each person feels to blame. Seldom do they discuss it. Communication BREAKS down. Communication is the key regardless if people are hearing or deaf or both.

I am hard of hearing, without my hearing-aids, I am totally deaf. AT night we make love and we use some light in order to communicate. Talk about what feels good, what feels right, what is enjoyable.

Multiple Sclerosis and sex......

Warning, Explicit....

I love sex. My wife loves sex as well. Sometimes disability can get in the way of sexual enjoyment. The best way to deal with those feelings is to talk as openly as possible about them. Our BRAINS are our BEST sexual organ. We started talking about more sensual and taking time to enjoy each feeling as it came. Knowing that stimulating our minds would make sex more fulfilling for us was no secret and we are more open to explore. We lay down together and letting our carnal emotions take over our bodies by putting our minds at ease by allowing us to lead each other into never ending ecstasy. Unspoken agreements invite hands wandering in an uncontrollable passion within sensual forces. With our complete love for each other, we release each other's from any inhibitions we may have sexually. In our erotic brain, wanting to manifest themselves into material reality that sensual scenes of we played over and over again are becoming reality. Sweet surrender. Appeasing each others' appetites & fantasies. When a couple makes love, they are entering into a state of oneness; it's a oneness described in Genesis, when a man shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Sex in marriage should always center around love. The gift of sharing your sexuality with each other is to bring oneness, joy, love, nurture, and fun to your relationship. It's important for each couple to negotiate how they are going to talk about their sexual relationship together. To talk honestly about our sexuality, sexual preferences, fears, feelings about our bodies, struggles, joys—this is intimacy, deep friendship with trust and faithfulness. The most important sexual organ is your brain. What's happening in your mind affects your responses physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Using your imagination and playing together are important for a healthy marriage and sexual relationship. If you're both having fun, neither of you feels degraded, there is no physical or psychological pain, you are growing in your oneness, and expressing your love for each other, then enjoy!

My wife and I are finding ways to be more sexual to over-come obstacles. Our minds are the BEST sexual organ and we are more wild than we ever before.

Now, our next project is getting a sound-proof bedroom. :)

Fellow blogger about Dr. Laura

I love reading my fellow blogger's blogs and today, I am trying to catch up. I read one of my frequent visits even though I do not always agree with her but I do enjoy her blogs. Her blogs actually makes me think.

I like her blog she has posted over the weekend. I encourage you to read Diane's blog about Dr. Laura: "Dr. Laura Explains the Starving Males Needs". Before you read my comment below, I want you to read her blog and try to understand why women disagree with Dr. Laura and I can understand why.

I have this book called "His Needs and Her Needs" and I enjoyed the book very much. I can understand what Dr. Laura is saying even though I do NOT always agree with her. I don't know how many men understands or even follow 1 Peter 3:7. That verse is important and very helpful in my own marriage. I will always do my best to submit to my wife's feelings and wishes. Submission to me means "Live with your wives" The term translated "live" means "to dwell down with," being closely aligned, being completely at home with. The little word "with" calls for close companionship, deep-down togetherness. Husbands are the ones who should be cultivating an in-depth partnership with our mates. This word "dwell" speaks of intimacy. In every marriage, there needs to be verbal, emotional, social, intellectual, and spiritual togetherness. The word for "live" means to "dwell together or to be at home with." Peter is telling husbands that they are responsible for the "close togetherness" in the relationship. Providing a good living should never become a substitute for sharing deeply in life. The husband is to be sensitive to the needs of the wife. Know your wife. The success of your dwelling with your wife will be in direct proportion to your knowledge of her. Knowing your wife includes those things that others don't and won't know. Her deep fears and cares. Her disappointments as well as her expectations. Her scars and secrets and also her thoughts and dreams. It calls for a sensitive spirit, a willingness to be involved, to listen, to communicate, to care. The husband is exhorted to live with his wife "with understanding."

Once my wife get her needs fulfilled, she will make sure that my needs are fulfilled as well.

The key point is that, I as a man must lead and take the responsbility of his marriage by loving his wife as he should love be.

I can understand why women dislike Dr. Laura's comment and I agree with the womens' feelings. Its never a woman's fault but rather a husband's (man's)fault when a marriage failed or when his wife is neglected.