Sunday, November 9, 2008
When I was diagnosed, losing friends was part of reality
After being diagnosed with MS, coping with disabailities including MS and hearing-impairement, I have lost my own self-confidence. I even remembered their comments about my own confidence why they no longer want to be my friends, those comments affected my thinking in the past 6 years. It appears I became a pest to some.
I had similar problems in local churches and Christians.
I even had my own problems at work because I was struggling with my newly diagnosed MS while dealing with major problems at work. I am very thankful for my co-workers. Most of them, I worked with for 20 years or longer. They are family to me and they were there for me.
For past 6 years, I have met many very positive people who seemed to have taken charge of their disabilities and were actively searching for answers to their problems WHILE living very normal lives.
I have learned a great deal about my own Multple Sclerosis over the past 6 years ever since I was diagnosed in April 22, 2002. I got divorced within a year. While at the same time, during my own struggle with self-confidence, I have lost some friends especially to those who I admire and respect. I have not seen many of them for 5 years now. The best way to determine if a person is real friend is when you are alone. Looking back, I have learned that a real friend is someone who will help you through tough time and stand beside you through anything even if they dislike the choices you make but they will say they are happy for you and they are the one who will stick up for you will you need them.
I didn't gain my self-confidence back until one woman who came into my life after I got divorced. I kept thinking about how amazing God works in me which have made me stronger in heart and mind. He taught me to be humbled about my life.
It appears that after MS, that I have a "new" life with "new" friends. It was like I was starting all over with new relationships and new friends. Finding friends who truly accepts you will take time.
I have learned that MS has no significant effect on life expectancy and not all MS patients are alike. I like this quote I read somewhere by Frank Cousins, who survived more than twenty years after he was given just a few weeks to live, used to say, "Accept the diagnosis but don’t accept the verdict that comes with it." MS Society has a great slogan, "You have MS. MS doesn’t have you." Our adversaries have made our will strong and made our desires to live stronger which caused our determination to be strong. Regardless whether I am deaf or have Multiple Sclerosis or whatever else is affecting me, I should look on the positive side of my life. Attitude is important. Attitude towards cultures is important. Attitude towards life is important. Therefore, attitude about my own life is very very important.
I will be 50 years old in about 4 weeks and I have learned about human nature in my life. When interacting with people, we may be able to fool other people, and often, we do not realize this ourselves, we often fool ourselves. If we can learn to be honest with ourselves our conscience will prevent us from undertaking regrettable actions.
"Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows." ~ author unknown
"The only way to have a friend is to be one." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Friendship is neither a formality nor a mode: it is rather a life." ~ David Grayson
Remember, you know who your friends and close relatives are by noticing that they are with you for life regardless what happens.