My Saturday's Deep Thoughts about life.

I have been thinking lately. I know that's scary, because when Jim is thinking, we are in trouble. *smile*

God have already reserved my time of death (which I do not know when) because He is my Creator and I don't have complete control over my life. Life does not discriminate between believers and unbelievers like plane crashes, accidents, illnesses and deaths. The fact of the matter is the visible providence of God has no respector (discriminate) of persons. I arrived naked from the womb of my mother; I will leave in the same condition--with nothing. Ecclesiastes 3:2: "a time to be born and a time to die". What made God decided that I was born on December 11th? Why am I living this way?

In this world, I have learned that by doing of the will of God leaves me no time for disputing about His providence plans and why things are happening around me. Acts 17:24-29 (NIV) explains God's providence PERFECTLY........ "The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.' "Therefore since we are God's offspring, we should not think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone—an image made by man's design and skill.

Ever since I was aware of my deafness (a disability), I kept thinking about how amazing God works in my life regardless what happened to me because my life has taught me to look at others who went through similar and I have seen what God has done for them. God is adjusting my history according to His purposes. He knows what He's doing that I have to learn to trust His will, His power, and His timing when the time is right, and not until then. That's the essence of real faith. God carries out His will in His perfect power and timing. My own growing pains were different than others. Some may be worst than others.

God truly knows what will wake people up and turn to Him. We all assumed that we have planned and executed our lives according to our own free-wills, but in reality, we were really never aware that our lives have always been guided by God because He knows how to handle our free-will decisions and when we do make them, God allow us to go through tough circumstances to wake us up from our own choices. There's a lot of suffering to be entered into in this world.

Throughout my life, I have learned that suffering remindes me the distressing fact of my mortality that is often too easily ignored. Suffering reminds me of my frailty and hints of the coming of death. Thinking of this sounds painful but there is enough truth in suffering to take it seriously that we all must die one day. In my life, suffering gently prods my consciousness and forced me to contemplate the unpalatable but real fact of my future death and how I view life relates to suffering is a very sobering thought. My life's experiences have laid the foundation for my new way of thinking, living and hoping in this world. There are many people who never see past the pain because they’re self-absorbed, they’re self-centered, they’re caught up in their own comfort and I decided not to be that way.

Throughout my life were my "wake-up calls" that lead me into "deep thinking". God got me thinking and lead me into life-changing experiences that heighten my effectiveness as a human being. One of my major wake-up calls from God was when I was diagnosed with Multiples Sclerosis and that got me thinking. When I was a prodigal Christian, I was away from God in which He was trying to wake me up by giving me rough circumstances and the finally, He woke me up.

In the past few years, I have learned that just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into my life, so also through Christ my comfort overflows. "Is there sufficient grace to help me in every issue of life?" Life is filled with difficulty. Life is filled with pain and sorrow and suffering. Bad things happen to everybody because we are living in a sinful world. Things will go wrong, they will go wrong all the time and that God has given me the grace to survive.